けねん

I'm afraid of going to school later in the afternoon. I'm afraid of getting my results. Like, what if it's bad? What if it's not up to the expectations of Mummy and Daddy, like how my PSLE results disappointed them? I'm sick of being compared to a sister with an extraordinary high IQ with peaked-high results. Perhaps if I was the younger sister, I could live just in her shadow. But that's just not the case. No matter how hard I try, it's kind of impossible to be the top few in my class, like my sis does. I'm dreading the results because I don't know what I would do if it turns out real bad. Sometimes late at night when every household's lights are all switched off, I sit before my study table and books, maybe even weeping. The stress was sometimes difficult to handle.

Let's say, if my results turn out well, like really well, then I'll go get my ears pierced later.

If it's bad... I mean, lilke what can I do? Go home and cry my eyeballs out? And I'll be the talk of my parents for the next century.

So many times I've planned, to be much more than who I am.

I don't want another pretty face,

I don't want just anyone to hold,

I don't want my love to go to waste;

I want you and your beautiful soul.

- Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul

Thank you to all my heaven-sent friends for cheering and calming me down.. although I'm still nervous, but I think it helped in a way or so. Really do feel blessed :) Thank you y'all, love y'all sooo much YYY